below are selections from some of my books,
they are for your personal delectation. enjoy!
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the world of the spirit
in quieting the sometimes very active din of my mind, i can hear, feel, experience my own true self, the part of me that knows exactly what i'm okay with and what i'm not.
it's taken much practice and it's been time well spent. in continuing the practice of personal inventory, i stay current with each moment as it passes. i don't have to wonder if i'm doing the right thing, i already know. i don't have to wait for some worldly approval process, i have one within.
ironically, it feels universal by way of connection with the universal love of my god. it feels right by way of my internal connection with the universe.
guilt comes on loud and aggressive- because it's trying to convince me, persuade me in alignment with dogmatic precepts.
my internal moral inventory answers with a whisper that i can hear clearly in quiet moments of reflection. i need no persuading because i know, at the deepest level, it's right for me. it is fluid and flexible, as is the universe it's part of.
if what you're doing right now does not merit your mindful attention, perhaps you could reconsider doing it at all.
getting out of the rut
Early in my recovery experience, i found myself in an uncomfortable state of being...
i had begun working on changes in my personal awareness, it was tremendous; i was meditating, reading spiritual literature as well as writing every morning and night; i was meeting several times a week with other people on a similar path; i had a whole new group of really good, close friends that i spent a lot of time with; i was busy and involved with the activities and people who had changed my life and given it so much meaning...
and i was bored.
the activities that had brought a new, euphoric sense of freedom had lost their "zing". the euphoria had settled and what was once amazing had become mundane.
my first reaction was to find a way to revive the spark, to get that euphoric feeling about spirituality back into my daily life. i went to my mentors and friends, shared what was happening, and they gave me encouragement as well as tips on how to get that "zing" back. "do more service work", was one suggestion; "have a spiritual book study at your house" was another. i received several ideas and put them into action. these suggestions worked and my zeal for the spiritual process returned! ...only to drop into another lull some time later.
this cycle of euphoria/boredom/re-"zing" played out several times until i hit somewhere around the 7 year mark. at that time i thought "how can people keep doing this for twenty or thirty years?".
i noticed the pattern. i was seeking to relive the initial emotional spark of the catharsis i'd experienced when changing from living with active addiction and other dysfunctional behaviors. i had been chasing the high of early recovery. ironically, this cycle began to look like active addiction.
my mistake was a common one, i believe. i had assumed the paradigm that because i was engaged in a spiritual pursuit, this process "should" be infinitely exciting, interesting and fun. i also assumed the corollary that at times when it did not, i was somehow deficient and needed simply to re-apply myself to the same actions that had sparked me earlier.
well, i have yet to find any thing that is infinitely exciting, interesting and fun. it's part of the human condition, the ebb and flow of all things. we eventually feel a bit burnt out on even the activities we love the most. they're renewed when we take a break from them for a while. the practices involved in awakening the spirit create sensations that are a part of our physical human experience and are subject to the same universal laws of balance present in all physical things. there is an amplitude to all aspects of life: awake/asleep, day/night, work/rest, build/erode/rebuild and on and on it goes. it's the same with the euphoria we experience with a spiritual awakening.
please understand that i'm not advocating disregarding the practice of spiritual principles, even for a short time. i don't believe it's in our best interest to be intentionally obsessive, compulsive and totally self-centered in our human interactions, even for the best of intentions. quite the opposite. you see, spiritual principles are not actions or experiences, they are the integrity by which we choose our actions and experiences.
my suggestions for surviving the "rut" times we all occasionally feel are two fold:
first; notice you're in a rut. just sit with it in awareness that you feel the way you feel. notice what boredom feels like and notice you're not likely to perish from the sensation. a very powerful spiritual experience can be had through practicing awareness and allowance in harmony with one another and the world around us. most emotional charges we feel dissipate with focused awareness. prolonged exercising of awareness and allowance, of any state of being, brings with it an enhancing of our individual power of choice, freedom from the addictive nature of the human experience.
second; pray for guidance and follow your gentle inclinations for change. trust the quiet voice in your heart, it's the voice of god, really.